Lesbian couple asked to leave restaurant after sharing a kiss

You have never kissed your partner/significant other/spouse in a public place during an anniversary/birthday/other milestone celebration?

You have much more restraint than I could ever muster. After I proposed to my wife, I received a very big kiss in a restaurant, that was a little beyond a peck on the cheek, and we were not asked to leave.

I don't know you at all, but I disagree. I happen to know that homophobia is prevalent enough that this seems far from an unlikely scenario. Why did only one group of customers complain? Why would the restaurant apologize if what the were doing was so beyond the pale of decent behavior that they were asked to leave the restaurant? A straight couple would have to be practically having sex to be asked to leave immediately-- I mean, the manager would likely have been within his rights to ask them to tone it down if they were in fact making out, but to be told to leave? No this is clearly a double standard. I know how inter-racial couples had to face this same kind of bigotry, and I see no need to give cover to people who choose to be prejudiced.

No. Not in public, although we never have been restrained when private or in an uninhibited setting. We've lived a lot in places like Iran, Yemen, Malaysia, etc where people tend to avoid public affection. I grew up with public discretion, as did my spouse, so we generally "go with the flow". It costs us nothing to avoid problems with other people.

I fear you are correct.

My husband and I have kissed at our favorite restaurant on our anniversary -- and probably also some other restaurants. We're not huge on PDAs, though.

That makes perfect sense; my point is that, in general, simple PDAs in the US are not really cause for major uproar or concern, especially when it involves straight couples, so IMO that same latitude should be afforded to gay/lesbian couples. That is one of the reasons I prefer to live in the US , as opposed to Iran or Yemen.

How could I disagree? Except for the last phrase. The US in many places seems to me to be far more uptight than many countries. Of course i live in Brasil.

I sometimes joke that we were founded by religious nuts who wanted laws stricter than those permitted in England at the time....except it's not entirely a joke.

Unfortunately, despite what the US officially states, many places in the country, are much more oppressing and less free than many other parts of the world (Iran or Yemen not included, but the majority of the free world is).

Lol! Of course I have to agree (look what we're talking about!). But I also choose not to live in those places in the US that are more restrictive. This is where I have lived: NYC, Boston, San Francisco. All pretty liberal areas, in most ways. I would never consider living in Mississippi, Alabama, Oklahoma, etc. This is not a slam on those places-- I have been to MS and AL, and there are some great people/places there, but they just don't suit my lifestyle.

In Arizona?

Now with more states approving same sex marriage (Yeah Maryland) and civil unions are they going to have new laws that those of the same sex can't show affection and how would that be enforced. I can't kiss my sister goodbye in an airport, an older daughter can't hold her mother's hand? How does anyone know how to judge someone else's personal life when they see a gesture of affection, come on people you want a cause find something worthy of your time an attention, this is seriously petty.

100% correct. Discretion is the best policy for everyone.

In all fairness to Arizona, I don't think they have (or are talking about) such laws. This is about a group of people and a restaurant manager objecting to the actions of the two other patrons. Very sad that it happened in 2012, and I'd agree with those who hope that the manager faces consequences if the event was as described (can't really do anything about the group of people complaining). Not sure if I'd agree that instant dismissal is necessarily the right and only answer. I am not sure that that would be anything but a knee-jerk reaction - if the manager recognizes that the request was utterly wrong and seems genuinely willing to learn from this, I'd probably think that dismissal is just counter-productive to fostering a different behavior.

It's important that the manager, employees, even the state of Arizona and of course the reader learn something here from what has happened in 2012!

I have kissed with Mrs Rejuvenated many times onboard the HK MTR - prior and after our marriage. Just one of the many public places where we have shared kisses together. We do so and it doesn't have to be during the day of a special occasion.

i just would not leave and LOL in the mangers face.

you're in big trouble... people on the HK MTR probably did not even notice they were talking so loud into their mobiles...

Folks - there are two sides to every story - and if you read the different versions - one site says something about 'fingering'... I'm just saying...

Well, that would be one thing if this was a US cultural norm that applied equally to everyone, but it doesn't. and that was my point. If my wife meets me in at JFK after I've been away, I am hugging her and giving her a big kiss, and if that's indiscreet, I don't apologize for it.

Really? Which version of the article? I must have missed that. I'll read the ones posted here again, but I am really surprised, if that were the case, that the three I've read didn't manage to mention something that would clearly be so inappropriate.

I bet the "table of upset men" had just gotten back from a Rick Santorum campaign gathering.

No comment on the story per se, but just wanted to express my happiness in seeing such positive and civil discussion on this topic and to see so many people supportive of diversity in all shapes, forms, and colors.

I recall a similar thread when MP first started related to a gay couple checking into a hotel and the tone of voice used by the desk agent offering two separate beds for the couple as opposed to the single bed they had booked which did not receive such a warm reception. The way you're all talking openly and civily is a breath of fresh air. Thumbs up!

Of course that is fine, but nobody wants to see a make out session at gate 8, table 5 or even row 12

Ohianjo, I replied to your post, but I was really reacting to jbcarioca's statement that he has never engaged in a public display of affection, and thinks it is 'unnecessarily provocative' to do so. So while I agree that everyone should use judgment, but I could just never live with a 100% restriction on PDAs.

Which is kind of weird, because in the movies most people wouldn't object to see that on the big screen.

Please don't overstate my views. I described my own practices, but I have never advocates that anybody should necessarily do as I do. I am convinced that people who engage in activity that runs counter to the prevailing mores of their location should not be surprised or outraged if their activity draws ire, False outrage when negative reactions were provoked by defying local mores is infantile, as a rule, in my opinion. It is not a question of freedom but of provocation.

My own behavior does now and always has changed depending on the situation. However, when I recall some of my own behavior as a teenager and young adult I recall doing a good many things just to provoke certain reactions. That was childish and inappropriate.

By definition societies have mores. What is the harm in behaving publicly in accord with local mores? If the mores in question reflect morally objectionable prohibitions (racial restrictions for example) they should be toppled and aggressive action to do is is justified. PDA's are in a different category IMO. I prefer that nobody cares, but if the local mores so dictate I can wait until i "get a room".

This is the limitation of having a 'conversation' in an electronic forum! I know you were speaking only for yourself, and that you were in no way stating an absolute moral code of conduct, and I hope it did not come across that way. I was just reacting to the personal code of ethics you seem to live by as indicated by the statement quoted by ohianjo.

As for your next point, there is no harm in behaving publicly in accord with local mores. In fact, learning and understanding public mores is part of the joy of traveling, IMO. I just recently went to Japan, and I spent a good part of my time learning about Japanese etiquette, so that I could show that I respected their culture.

This situation, as I all think we (mostly) agree, is different. As none of us were there, we cannot know if their display crossed the line from appropriate to inappropriate. I've read three different articles, and none of them even hinted that anything especially untoward or objectionable, other than the gender of the people involved. So given that they were in a context where something like a brief, celebratory hug and kiss is normally within the bounds of local mores, the fact that they were asked to leave violates one of the most valued mores that we hold in the US (even if we are incapable of upholding it always), that of equality of persons.

Anyway, I'm not covering any new ground here; just wanted you to know, jbcarioca, that I was not trying to overstate what you were saying.